Fluff rice with a fork, never stir it with a spoon.
Vaseline is the best night time eye cream on the market.
You can buy alcohol and chips with your parents’ gas station credit cards.
If you force something, you’ll break it. That could be good or bad.
It’s important to read the care tags on your clothing and follow those instructions.
Related: don’t wash and dry j. crew wool sweaters.
Changing your car’s oil is not optional.
Whatever physical objects you acquire you will one day have to put into a box and move.
You’re allowed to disagree with negative feedback.
It’s always worth reading the instruction manual.
Nostalgia, like any drug, can be a poison or a remedy.
Pets are like human friends but better in every conceivable way.
Good doctors listen more than they talk.
You can’t fix a burned roux.
Floss.
Just because someone is an authority figure does not mean they are intelligent/competent/right.
Measure twice, cut once.
Get your nice jeans and dress pants tailored by a professional.
If you’re uncomfortable wearing it you will not look good.
You’re not required to drink alcohol while in a bar.
There are a few things that cure all ills: the beach, your favorite album on vinyl, and fresh garlic.
Kindness is not weakness.
Baking soda is not baking powder.
Taking Excedrin P.M. while still in public is not advisable.
Terrible people will succeed. Wonderful people will fail. The world is not fair.
Appropriate footwear is always key.
You can absolutely be too forgiving.
Real humor punches up, not down.
Reading the assigned chapters will actually help you learn the material.
There are no adults. Everyone is as clueless as you are.
Applying eyeliner well is a timeless art.
You can always leave. Awkward dates, suffocating jobs, hometowns that you outgrow, relationships that aren’t growing in the right direction.
You can always come home again.
But it won’t be the same.
Life is too short for bad books, boring movies, shitty people, and margarine.
Never underestimate the importance of eyebrows.

36 Things I Wish I Figured Out Sooner - Whitney Kimball  (via seabelle)

Relevant.

(via runningtheremedy)

"but it wont be the same." broke my heart

(via too—weird-to-live)

(Source: shessoprettywhenshelies)




godbless-st-cyr:

A compilation of my favorite teacher/school related posts



beingmeli:

Her face is just like ‘you know it bitch’


tsarbucks:

officialfrenchtoast:

tornadoallie:

WHAT IS THIS COMPANY

they have phones too

of course they’re a disposable consumer goods company that makes plastics and such



drewchainzzzz:

If I ever turned invisible the first thing I’d do is go to France and beat up a mime. Everyone would think he is the greatest performer to ever live.



mcconaughey:

kawaii girlfrien ds

duplication:

Don’t cross oceans for people who wouldn’t cross a puddle for you






pleatedjeans:

single-image version




beben-eleben:

Stages of Anal

(Source: fallenforminaj)



imadad3:

firstgaydog:

in pokemon you can battle a cop

you can battle a cop in real life if you arent a weenie





its-only-logical-captain:

allthingshyper:

did-you-kno:

Source

YOU’RE IN AUSTRALIA
OF COURSE SPIDERS SHOULD BE FEARED

I got bitten by a white-tailed spider when i was seven. There is basically ‘no cure’ for the bite which often gets infected because of bacteria on the spiders fangs. It pretty much eats away at the flesh and its horrible. Thankfully my grandma is a seasoned aussie and put some potion she made on it and it got better. I still to this day have scar about the size of a 5 cent coin on my thigh and when you touch it there’s basically a hole in my leg from where it ate away at my flesh. moral of the story STAY AWAY FROM AUSTRALIA. IT IS DANGEROUS AND YOU WONT SURVIVE. 


cyberbtch:

LOOK AT ITS LITTLE SMILE

(Source: wonderous-world)